I’m just saying…

Here, there be rant.

I’ve got a buddy. More than a buddy. One of my best friends. Goes by the name of Justin. A tall, lanky fellow, fellow film major, and Kung Fu black belt. More importantly, we’re both comics nerds, and hungrily devour news about upcoming comic book movies. We’d have these amazing and epic debates over what should/should not happen in the next film, what is or is not happening, and othersuch nonsense. Friends of ours know these debates. If memory serves right, we weren’t speaking to each other for about a month because of our “What should happen in Spider-Man 3″ debate. It was fierce.

Recently, I’ve grown weary of debates like these with him or anyone else for that matter. It got to the point where I was just left thinking, “I’m not the director. I’m not the producer. I’m not even the coffee monkey. Arguing about what should go on in these movies is fucking pointless.” It was fun once, screaming and ranting about Brett Ratner and shit. But it gives me a migraine now. If friends approach me with movie news or speculations or rumors or anything of the sort, well… Let’s just say I get pretty fucking irate.

So when I come across news on my own, I have no one to blame but myself. Or Xerexes, I guess. Comixpediating son of a bitch.

Now, I pretty much agree with the basic assessments of this blogger here. Sure, the costumes could be better. Sure, Stacy X is a pointless damned character to have in the movie, and it’s damned weird that she’s standing alongside Psylocke and Callisto. Overall, it seems like there’s a lot of stuff being crammed into the movie, over saturating it with “X-tra” characters. So it’s looking not so good, the movie. People are screaming, forums are shouting, fans are foaming at the mouth. The movie could turn out to not be what the fans want.

Oh fucking well.

It’s getting harder and harder to identify myself as a comic book fan. Because we comic book fans are a selfish lot. Trained by our very own entertainment source to be sticklers for hardcore continuity. Growing up reading the monthly escapades of our beloved characters, etc.

The bulk of the superbook fandom, like most fandoms, attains this great sense of entitlement over the characters and worlds they read. So when a movie like Daredevil or Punisher comes out, that are both inaccurate and straight up bad movies, the fandom goes nuts.

Personally, I’m getting fucking tired of it. So I’m going to say this to all the frothing fanboys and comic book readers who waste an excess amount of time predicting and pre-scripting and pre-viewing the movies and their contents in their heads. To all of those who let loose a bloody, screaming rage because the movie didn’t go their way:

They didn’t make the movie for you, they made the movie for everybody. And if you expect them to do otherwise, then you have no clue how Hollywood works.

I’m no expert on Hollywood. Closest I’ve been is to LA, and that was for E3. Not even the same industry. I am, however, a filmmaker, so I have a base insight if nothing else. But to make a movie for the super-niche audience that is the comic book reader is a big, big risk financially. Sure, they could do a panel-by-panel by-the-book 100% accurate rendition of Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns. But you’ll be excluding a huge chunk of people who don’t even know who the fuck The Dark Knight is.

Making a big budget movie requires many safety nets to ensure that at the bare minimum, you break even. One of those safety nets is simplification of the story, in the sense of adjusting it for the common viewer. And there’s a great difference between that and “dumbing it down.” As long as you have all the base elements from the original story, you’re solid. Eschewing these things is the difference between a good and bad adaptation.

So there’s room for change. In X-Men, they decided to make the starting X-Men Cyclops, Jean, Storm, and Wolverine (as opposed to Angel, Beast, Cyclops, Iceman and Jean). And that was fine. It was still a good X-Men story because you had the social conflict between humans and mutants, a main villain that opposes or otherwise hinders the belief of peaceful co-existence, and the X-Men willing to fight for those that hate and fear them. Storywise, that’s all you need (aside from, I’d argue, Professor X and the school. I feel those are essential for an opening X-Men story. The characters are variable). So in X-Men, we had a very decent departure from the true “origin story,” but because we had all the basic elements it was a faithful adaptation.

Combined, of course, with smashing presentation and performances. That’s crucial for any movie, regardless of story.

But there’s the whole mentality that needs 100% faithful adaptation. The mentality that refuses to accept variations of every kind. I knew a lot of folks who were pissed off that Spider-Man had biological web shooters, rather than mechanical. Honestly, who gives a fuck? That’s really incidental to the story’s meaning and message.

And when the movie comes out, and you invariably disagree with some part of the adaptation, you can go ahead and be annoyed. That’s fine and reasonable. Disagree, talk about why you thought it was wrong, or how it could be changed. That’s good ol’ healthy criticism.

But don’t be that guy who posts on the forum screaming for the head of Director or Writer because they “betrayed you.” Getting that angry about it doesn’t do a goddamned thing, and only helps to tarnish the reputation and image of the comic book reader. Relax and accept that there’s room for reasonable change during the adaptation. But think about the changes they made, and try to think about why they made them. If you’re stumped, it’s because they did it so more people than just you might enjoy the movie. Because they’re trying to make some money. Which, ultimately, was why the characters were created in the first place anyway.

Hey gang. Looks like I’ll be heading up to the New York Comic-Con for Saturday with the Digital Strips guys. If anyone wants to meet up with me, e-mail me at glitchphil@gmail.com and we’ll work it out.

Another Podcast is up. Pretty quickly, I might add.

This show’s a little bit different. Zampzon and Daku decided they wanted to do a ‘cast debating over the Danish Cartoons stuff. It got really, really heated. I attribute that partially to the fact that Zamp’s was tossing back the Guinness like some kind of guy. But mostly because it’s a really, really heated issue.

We mention a comment thread from IJS in the ‘cast. You could probably scroll down, but otherwise the link is here.

New Digital Strips Podcast is up. In this episode, we talk about Today, by Chad Diez.

Also, it seems my brains are still here. I attribute that to one of two possibilities:

1) Eric “Cannibal” Burns lives all the way up in New Hamster or whatever, and for him to drive all the way down to Philadelphia just to pick my brains didn’t fit in well with his budget and timetables.

Or…

2) I’m so fucking awesome, that I generate a powerful and invisible force-field that prevents him from masticating my medulla.

I’m betting on the latter. It must be one of those force-fields that filters out brain-eaters specifically. Which makes total sense, because it explains why I’ve never seen an Illithid before.

Wait a minute… I’ve never seen Eric before, either. That could only mean…

Of course!

Howdy folks. Found a couple new webcomic blogs. They’re Online Comics, by Julie and Weekly Webcomic Reviews, by Peter C. Hayward, Esq. Check ‘em out, will ya?

(From Gossamer Commons, by Eric Burns & Peter Venables)

I had some difficulty reading today’s Gossamer Commons. It’d be safe to say I’m an experienced comics reader. I know how to read them. I’ve been reading them since I could read them. I’ve read McCloud’s and others’ experiments in reading path deviation. I’ve read a lot of different kinds of comics and a lot of different methods executed.

Still, I had a bit of trouble reading this one the first time around.

Deviating from the norm when it comes to laying out a reading path, or the imaginary line you follow when going from bubble to bubble, is dandy. But that path still needs to be logical. I’m reading along and everything is fine up until the point where you get to Mal’s line, “So you came here for Wine?” It’s in a tricky spot. It’s meant to transition down to the “panel” below it. But the direction you’re going when you read that makes you want to veer left. And the conversation presented, reading that panel from right to left, still makes sense. Until you decide it’s time to move on to the top right panel. Then I’m like, “Wait, we’re back at the horseradish again? Who wrote this, Bendis?”

I’m sure you’re wondering how I think it would’ve been done better. And honestly, I’ve been spending the better part of the last hour trying to re-arrange said strip in Photoshop with no success. The proportions of the panels and the balloons creeping into each other panel’s territories add to the confusion. It’d need the size of the panels to be better proportioned to each other, and a more logical reading path.

It’s not too big a deal though, really. The layout of the strip’s installment, itself, is daring and original, and definitely not impossible to comprehend. Topped off with a witty Passover joke. So this is meant to be one of those helpful criticisms, where you go “Hey, I see what you were trying to do. Didn’t quite work, here’s what you can do to improve.”

So yeah. Good try, dudes. Keep at it.

And keep your grubby mitts off of my brain, dammit. Don’t think I don’t see that hungry stare.

Hey folks. I’m still here. Busy at work with tons of filmstuff, webcomics things, Digital Strips, and the seeeeecret prooooooject. Which will un-secret itself soon.

I really like the debate that’s been going on in the comments thread of my Danish Cartoons post. Everyone’s been arguing damn well. Even better than I could, I’d wager.

Anyway, we should see a return to normalcy soon. If you haven’t noticed before, that’s usually my pattern. A few weeks of posts, then a few weeks without posts. Many thanks for putting up with it, dear readers.

And as soon as Kim puts up the UberCon pics, I’ll write a Con report.

Listen, people. I’m going to UberCon. I’ve got Lee and his best gal Michelle with me. It’s gonna be a swell time.

I’ll tell you about it when I get back. Later, friends.

It’s a hot issue right now. A touchy issue. And often, a misinterpreted issue. What we have going on is a gigantic clash of cultures manifesting into violent protest.

One of the perspectives I’m sick of hearing is “They’re just cartoons. You don’t see people bombing embassies because someone draws Jesus.”

There’s a lot wrong with that outlook. Because as the person already knows, the two religions of Christianity and Islam are quite different. I’m not about to make myself out to be some sort of expert on Islam. In fact, when it came to that unit in Intellectual Heritage class, I don’t remember a damned thing. But one thing that the holders of the perspective above don’t understand is that in Islam tradition and practice, the depiction of their prophet Muhammad is a sin. Not poor taste, not “frowned upon.” A sin.

In Christianity, the depiction of Christ, God, and other heavenly figures is not a sin. The wide majority of faithful Christian believers have a portrait of Christ in their household somewhere. There are paintings that are considered great works of art beyond being religious (like the Last Supper and the Sistine Chapel). The Christian culture and tradition has encouraged the creation of such works and others as not just good a thing, but a good tool to spread the love of their lord and savior.

But in Islamic tradition, it is a sin. And Freedom of the Press or not, we oughtta respect that. We don’t need to be uber PC and hyper sensitive to their religion, but we oughtta respect it. The same way we expect them to respect any religion we might practice.

That’s the major thing the Danish Editor did not do. He knew full and goddamned well that these cartoons would be a major offense in their society, which is plenty volatile as it stands. He had them reprint those cartoons and hid behind the good ol’ Freedom of the Press clause.

That’s a common misunderstanding with Freedom of the Press and Freedom of Speech. They mean you are free to say and print what you choose. They do not, however, protect you from any consequences that might arise from the recipients. Sure, your government will keep their fingers out (for the most part anyway), but the other 99% of your readers are not the government. So you will have to deal with them if you piss them off. That’s life. What the fuck did the Danish Editor expect?

But don’t get me wrong. I’m not condoning the riots. Not in anyway. Violence is never the answer. And in protest, violence is not even an option. There are fundamental flaws in the Middle-Eastern societies and cultures (mostly the extremists) that see violence and murder as a perfectly acceptable method. That’s fucked in the head. And yes, totally: Way to disprove your enemies’ allegations that you are a recklessly violent people by participating in reckless violence. That’ll teach ‘em.

So fuck no, I’m not condoning their actions. And I ain’t making excuses on their behalf. But we, as intelligent people owe it to ourselves to at least make sure we understand what they’re thinking, and not chalk it off as “Just Cartoons.” This simply reaffirms that the medium that we use is a powerful one. And with great power comes great responsibility, dammit.

Damn. Between work and school, and the seeeeeecret prooooooject, I’ve been a bit of busy. I’d love to post for you guys, but I’ve got nothing. Nothing in particular to snark on, so that’s not really my fault. And there’s still that ever-lingering contest that hasn’t been resolved. I’m so behind, I really am. I can offer you nothing but apologies. And tears. Bitter, caustic tears from the darkest depths of my tortured soul.

So enjoy a nice podcast instead. This installment, we talk about Belphegor. Enjoy.