My Ire with Bendis
Tonight, I’ve got nice and special for you a fresh AIM convo betwixt myself and Rob Balder. What happened prior, is after joking around about Superman shitting (from Brown Kryptonite Laxative), Rob mentioned that he’s not very in touch with the modern superbook scene (I don’t blame him, he’s not missing that much). I began to rant, as an elitist critic might, about how Comics “Aren’t as good as they used to be.” So I submit to you, the high point in the conversation.
Phil Kahn: Superbooks? Well they just suck right now. Mostly because we’re in the middle of/coming down from Super-Crossovers in both Marvel and DC comics. With Marvel, there’s a huge problem: Pretty much one guy is writing everything that has to do with the Marvel universe et al. Brian Michael Bendis. That fucker. I resent him. Resent, not hate. Because I don’t like what he does, but I can’t help being entertained by his work.
Rob Balder: Ah. The Brannon Braga of Marvel I am guessing
Phil Kahn: It’s like laughing at a joke that you know is not supposed to be funny. I don’t know who Brannon Braga is. Lemme wiki…
Rob Balder: Fucker who crashed the Star Trek franchise. I think first name is Brannon.
Phil Kahn: Tis.
Rob Balder: Could be Brandon
Phil Kahn: Yeah, ok. Well, he isn’t exactly crashing Marvel into the ground. But he pretty much has a monopoly on all the big stories.
Rob Balder: That’s what Braga did for years over several series. And movies.
Phil Kahn: Mm. Bendis is trying to write the biggest shit that ever happened to Marvel. He did the following: Established that Nick Fury, the most well-respected secret ops soldier and head of S.H.I.E.L.D. (The World’s Secret Service), started and administered a war against Latveria (the Marvel-Madeup country where Doctor Doom, one of the biggest bad guys of all Marveldom, is Lord and Master most of the time). In secret. For so far, spurious reasons. This was all outlined in the yet-to-be-completed Secret War saga, which the conclusory part five is now a year overdue. Disassembled the Avengers, Marvel’s Justice League, and killed off a few of them. Most notably Hawkeye (wholly unnecessary).
Rob Balder: First Henry Blake and now Hawkeye?
Phil Kahn: (Good one) Established the New Avengers, whose rooster consists of Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-Woman (The First), Luke Cage the Power Man, Wolverine, Spider-Man, The Sentry (A SUPER OBSCURE PRANK CHARACTER BY STAN LEE WHO’S ALMOST AS POWERFUL AS FUCKING SUPERMAN), and Soon to be Daredevil (in the guise of Ronin, a ninja, so he won’t sully the Avengers name). Directed the entire run of The House of M, which was this year’s giant crossover, which the super typical Marvel “Alternate Universe that returns everything to status quo except one detail,” where Wolverine was the essential hero. Now at its conclusion, apparently 95% of the world’s mutants no longer are mutants (Including notable X-Man Iceman), and Wolverine now REMEMBERS HIS PAST ENTIRELY. I put that in capitals because he basically removed Wolverine’s one major weakness/character intrigue. The fact that he had no idea what his past was. It was blocked out by the sick fuckos at the Weapon X program who laced his skeleton with Adamantium. So, Wolverine practically no longer has depth.
Rob Balder: It’s not the depth of the character; it’s the motion of the ocean.
Phil Kahn: Now, the inherent problem with everything Bendis does is that his primary writing method is decompressed storytelling. Basically meaning, stretching everything out as long as you can. Now this makes some stories longer than others. So things that need to be happening at the same time aren’t fucking happening at the same time. And apparently, that’s why the conclusion of Secret War still has yet to come out: Because he’s not ready for it. Now, the potential power that Secret War had is essentially nullified. Because no one fucking cares anymore. And with his New Fucking Avengers? Spider-Man? Daredevil? Power Man? Wolverine? Spider-Woman? The Sentry? All lone wolf heroes.
Rob Balder: That would be a GREAT band name. The New Fucking Avengers
Phil Kahn: It would.
Rob Balder: I’d pay the cover.
Phil Kahn: But you can’t have a pack comprised entirely of lone wolves.
Rob Balder: Except for webcomics.
Phil Kahn: … Rob.
Rob Balder: Webcomics is the exception which proves that rule.
Phil Kahn: If you don’t mind, I’m going to make this conversation a post on I’m Just Saying. Because that? Profound.
Rob Balder: Heheh not at all.
Phil Kahn: But nevertheless, you see why I fucking resent Bendis. He’s doing so many things that I am simply not happy with. Yet, when I read all these stories? I’m enjoying them. They’re well written, in and of themselves. He’s a great dialogue writer, and he knows his characters. Speaking of which, that’s the other thing about the New Fucking Avengers: All of the rooster, save Cap and Iron Man, are his “Pet Characters.” His Crutch Characters. So while he does write all of them exceptionally well, they’re still his crutch. So, not hatred for him. But resentment. And you can probably tell, Rob, that this is a subject on which I am passionate.
Rob Balder: I understand. It’s not the sense that it sucked, but the sense that it could have been so much better. The feeling of wasted potential. Same with the Star Trek universe.
Phil Kahn: Yes, it’s quite similar.
Rob Balder: Versus the Star Wars prequels, which just sucked out loud.
Phil Kahn: Wasted potential in a different sense, though. Because with Star Trek, as I see it (not being a real fan of any sort), there’s things that they could be doing that they simply aren’t. Wasted Energy. With Bendis and Marvel, this is stuff that’s taking that Potential Energy, and using it the wrong way.
Rob Balder: Ah I see.
Phil Kahn: Or in Bendis’s case, not using enough energy. Because he takes too fucking long to write his shit. Oh, he’ll have it on time every time. But stories that could span two issues require five or six. Shit like that.
Rob Balder: I see.
Phil Kahn: It’s very hard to be a Marvel Loyalist right now.
Rob Balder: I guess it must be.
Phil Kahn: Whew. Ok, I think I’ve gotten my argument concluded. Thanks Rob, now I have something to post.
Rob Balder: Heheh sure no prob.
November 18th, 2005 at 5:06 am
I disagree. I think Marvel and DC are doing the best things they possibly could right now to try and get the casuals back to reading, cuz lets face it, pandering to their fanboys is what got them into the state of shit they’re only now starting to crawl out of.
And the sales seem to support their decisions. The Hollywood money isnt going to last forever, and according to teir latest financial reports, the lisenceing cash cow is starting to peter out.
But, their actual comics sales have been rising. Only time will tell if it’s enough of a trigger to send them back into the realm of self-suffeciency.
I am unhappy that they have basically removed all of Morrsion’s fine work on making the X-Men readable again. And is the new avagers just Marvel’s JLA? Yes, but the old team was a pile of Z graders anyway. Having the money characters (or past money caracters) on the team makes more sense than Wasp or Hawkeye (who no one gave a crap about until he died… While I’m at it, Iceman and Jubilee dont sell books either).
Also, the characters and the approach to making hero books need to change, because they’ve been so fucking boring for so long.
When it comes down to it, Marvel and DC have been doing the right things for their long term survival And I think their material hasn’t been this good since the 1980s.
I would love to see the big two diversify their genres a bit more, but in the world of spandex, they’re doing the right things.
November 18th, 2005 at 5:09 am
By the way:
Phil Kahn: But you can’t have a pack comprised entirely of lone wolves.
Rob Balder: Except for webcomics.
Phil Kahn: …
Phil Kahn: Rob.
Rob Balder: Webcomics is the exception which proves that rule.
That was fucking funny.
November 18th, 2005 at 8:35 am
THat was why I even decided to post all this. It’s pretty damned true.
And as much as I hate to admit it, you’re right about a lot of things there, Will. And like I said, despite the fact that I hate what they’re doing, I love reading it while they’re doing it. I’m really conflicted.
And as far as getting new audiences interested in old characters, the Ultimate books are doing a swell job of that.
November 18th, 2005 at 12:39 pm
I hate the fact that Wolverine remembers his past. Don’t give the Rabbit the Trix! The Trix, they be for the kids!
November 18th, 2005 at 12:44 pm
Exactly.
November 18th, 2005 at 1:02 pm
Re, lost memories: After thirty odd years of it, I figure it was time to give that invitation to make things even more convoluted a rest. Everything else about Wolverine’s character has evolved (hoho), this one needed to as well
November 18th, 2005 at 5:53 pm
Will, I could honestly write an essay on the importance of having Wolverine’s past being a mystery.
November 18th, 2005 at 11:35 pm
Go right ahead.
November 18th, 2005 at 11:37 pm
I definitely will sometime. But It’s been ages since I actually fucking talked about webcomics, so I think I’ll do that next.
November 19th, 2005 at 4:16 am
I double dog dare you.
November 19th, 2005 at 9:56 am
All in due time.
November 19th, 2005 at 8:54 pm
I always liked Cyclops better. I’m not that interesting of a person, I suppose.
November 19th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
We’re not debating over who’s our favorite or who’s “the best.” I was merely saying I could write an essay on the importance of Wolverine’s Mysterious Background. Logan is not at all my favorite X-Man.
I can’t have a favorite X-Man anyway. That’s like asking me to pick my “favorite movie.” Cannot be done.
November 19th, 2005 at 10:56 pm
eh. Not Cyclops. He’s not that entertaining, he’s usually protrayed as too good, boreingly clean. Also, he has an easily controllable power. I always thought the mutants that had problems controlling their powers were more interesting. I disagree about Bendis destroying Marvel. Realistically, he’s the only reason they’re making money. Marvel hasn’t always been good and has had problems, especially lately. In short, Bendis allows them to make money, helming their most popular character Spider-Man. And realistically, you could argue /that/ is all Marvel will care about: money. He is doing interesting things even if they’re not always /good/ things. I’m not going to say that this is way Marvel should be going, money-hungry that they are but at least there is some kind of movement, which is better then stagnation they’ve faced befor. Of course, this is a long comment and will thus get ignored.
November 20th, 2005 at 12:03 am
Rest assured, Derek… it’s getting ignored for a reason entirely different than it’s length ;)
November 20th, 2005 at 1:37 am
“…you could argue /that/ is all Marvel will care about: money”
Marvel is a business. A business with multiple revenue streams. But their main cash cow of character lisencing is slowly losing profitablity. They need to do all they can to build up sales of their titles. The most important part of what they’re doing is changing their material to suit the potential audience. Something they forgot to do sometime back in the 80s.
The main problem Marvel and DC face are the fanboys. Hell, even the saner regular fans are unwilling to accept them changing material to suit the times.
I think they SHOULD be jumping to the web. They SHOULD be following the business models that work on the web, and they SHOULD be using it as the best damned, almost fee, advertisement to get people to go buy their books they currently have available to them.
Man, they hire me, I’ll make them a cultural force within a decade.
November 20th, 2005 at 12:20 pm
And that’s where I’m arguing from, entirely in the fanboy camp. My feelings have nothing to do with the success and standing of Marvel Entertainment, only how I feel about what they’re doing to my beloved universe.
November 20th, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Ah, I know how you feel. This is why I left Marvel in the late 1990’s: they started the process of breaking my heart.
And I want to stab the fucking White Queen in the EYE with a FORK. Fucking no talent team ruining bitch. ::growl:: NO BUSINESS being there. Oh, and I HATED Frank Quitely’s art. Bleah.
The end.
And the webcomics line was genius. ::loud applause::
The (real) end!
-A!
November 20th, 2005 at 10:16 pm
Anti-Morrison era X-Men? Now that’s just crazy talk.
eeeuch. Fanboyism. Obsession over the things you buy. That’s just a bit crazy. Like Jeffery Dahmer crazy, not Hunter S Thompson crazy. Consumerism gone mad.
Craziness all around.
November 21st, 2005 at 12:57 am
I have to give you Morrison Era X-Men, Will. That was the shit that got me back into comic books after 5 years of being AWOL.
November 21st, 2005 at 7:54 am
It’s what did the same for me. I hadn’t read super books since sometime around the founding of Image and the Abjectiveless X-Men. I admit that manga took a lot of my attention away, but after reading through my university roommate’s 90s collection in university a few years ago, I was dismayed to see how it all got worse.
Then someone told me “Hey, The Doom Patrol guy is doing X-Men” and I was like “Really? I better check that shit out.” and then I was like “Damn! I actually want to read more”
Then I didnt really follow up on it cuz I was broke.
Then I moved to Korea. Now I can only buy one or two of the trades.
Phil, this is the longest comments thread you’ve ever had. Maybe you should switch to discussing print.
November 21st, 2005 at 8:19 am
Heh. Well, I’m not going to switch format, but Print Books will definitely become a recurring theme, like games.
Speaking of which, I’ve got a game that needs review.
November 21st, 2005 at 12:56 pm
Is it checkers? I like checkers.
November 21st, 2005 at 1:51 pm
Yes, Will. I’m going to review checkers.
November 21st, 2005 at 11:59 pm
Yay!
December 9th, 2005 at 2:48 pm
yo bendis is the rocks socks. besides you got geoff johns coming to DC soon so he won’t be all over everything any more.
and apprently you shit the bed on the daredevil/new avengers thing.