I’m just saying…

I’m sorry everyone. I finally buckled under the pressure and went out and bought World of Warcraft.

I guess… I guess this is goodbye.

I’m at my Grandma’s house on the eastern shore of the Chesapeake Bay in Cambridge, MD. Family chaos and holiday cheer is imminent. If you fon’t hear back from me in three days, avenge my death.

Here’s wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas, or whatever else it is you do.

Also, don’t forget about Der Contesten.

Well, I’ve given my givie. Would’ve liked for that combined givie to be much more of a give, but the auctions and the things of that sort did not pan out. So I now hereby put out this offer:

Since I’ve made my donation, and in the spirit of the exercise, combined with me having jack shit to write about, a random person who e-mails me at my glitchphil att gee mail dot com address with the words “Give me a goddamned essay” will recieve an blogpost of their choice. Any topic, any format, whatever they like. You’ve got to e-mail me at that gmail address, and the e-mail must contain “Give me a goddamned essay.” I will randomly choose by way of random number generator from the first 6 or 20 requesters (depends on how many I get). As soon as someone wins it, I will announce their winnership.

It’s all in the spirit of fun. Go ahead. Make me write whatever you want.

Thanks to Eric for both his hugeass reminder that we are critics and not journalists (we are non-objective by definition, people), and for pointing out another site participating in The Dialogue. Goes by the name of Fleen. Actually written by non-webcomics creators. Permanent Link will be added as soon as I get back to my home machnine.

As I normally do when I have no criticism or commentary to thrust forward, I post links to some random shit that I think is cool. Because they are.

First up is a brand new community made just for newbies to the Webcomics Creation scene. It’s called Interact, and could prove very useful to up and comers. Go check it out if you’re new to making comics/interested in making comics/a vet who loves to give advice.

The other thing is a Webcomics-inspired movement, that could be one of the coolest things of all ever. Based off of Randy’s Strip, an anonymous effort of spreading love has started called I Lava You. It’s damned cool.

Also, about the Essay Auction: Still waiting to hear back from the “winner.” However, a certain gentleman and I are working out a deal for the same end. I’ll let you know what happens as it happens. In the meantime, my good buddy and Biscuiteer-in-waiting Annie Carlson of I’m Blue has her own auction up and running. She is auctioning off an Autographed Cardboard Tube, signed by Penny Arcade’s own Gabe & Tycho. Proceeds will go directly to Child’s Play. As of this typing, there are about two days left on the auction, so hurry yourselves up.

In other news, I’m home for the holidays. Posts will be limited, because I foolishly left behind the file of all my webcomics bookmarks, the file I made specifically for this trip. Maybe this will be my chance to catch up on some archives here and there. Who knows?

Ok, so I haven’t written anything. Reason #1, nothing to say. Reason #2, I’m still fucking sickened by certain displays on other blogs.

But now I have something to say.

Please welcome to the world, Beatrix Cayce Garza.

I see animated series. Starring Elliot, Baby Gabe, and Beatrix…

Webcomics Rugrats.

It’ll be awesome.

Hey folks. This is my last day of finals. Sweet liberation is just on the horizon. I can almost reach it.

Luckily for me, the new issue of Comixpedia came out, and since I did some stuff for it, I get to take a bye for the day. It’s Comixpedia’s 2005 Year in Review roundtable, and features all critics. It also features Will G acting like a complete tool.

So go check it out.

(Still waiting to hear from the auction winner, the $78 bidder… shoot me an e-mail so we can work it out)

I should have known, I suppose. eBay loves to fuck me over. Well, I suppose I can’t take it too personally, I’m sure they very much enjoy fucking everyone over.

Yet again, their Red Tape nonsense has taken the auction off their list. On two counts:

1) A Charity Outside of MissionFish: eBay will deal exclusively with MissionFish charities. You cannot make mention of other charities. My last experience on this front was for Hurricane Relief, and they wouldn’t let me do the auction unless it was with MissionFish. After about three failed attempts to even work within their system, I had to just call it off. My impression was, if you want to auction for charity, and the charity is a part of MissionFish, you have to do it with MissionFish. Apparently, since Child’s Play isn’t even in MissionFish, it seems you can’t do any charity unless it is with MissionFish, and only with them. So eBay struck on that count.

2) Links to an Outside Website: eBay prevents against promotional scams. You can only put in links to things that enhance the description of the item. I put links in to the main page, and selected articles I have written, so the prospect will know what they’re getting. I don’t exatly see what the problem was here, and I could potentially argue the fact. But since count #1 is unavoidable, that’s it.

I don’t know what to do, really. If you had the highest bid at the conclusion of the auction, that $78 bid (unless there was a higher bid since last I saw, then by all means say so), we will consider you the winner. If you are that person, please e-mail me. The address is glitchphil at gee mail dot com. We will work this out, Child’s Play will get your money, and you will get your custom essay.

Fucking eBay.

(From Alien Loves Predator, by Bernie Hou)

I’m still fried from the convention, along with the last legs of finals, so I’m writing this while struggling to stay awake. Normally, I’d wait until I’m better rested, but this is only a simple snark. I think I can manage. Or like, die trying or something. So there’s a lot of things this strip does right, as a webcomic. Let’s go down the list.

1) Smart Poop Jokes: Poop jokes can be funny most the time, but when it’s funny because it’s poop, it seems tired to me. However, the buildup to the final punchline in this strip I feel was pulled off very well. Because just like implied violence, where the viewer imagines it in a far more gruesome way that can be explicitly shown, the implied poop has that effect. So good stuff.

2) Realistic Meta: Meta humor, without breaking fourth wall, is always a tricky prospect. Usually, an author will acknowledge itself in explicit detail to the point where the characters are aware that they are fictional and in a webcomic (I think Kris Straub might have done that once or twice). But in this scenario, we see the action figures holding action figures. Gold.

3) Accessability: We’re in a part of a story that relies on history between two characters and othersuch story that has happened already. However, the strip manages to maintain its humor, and its storyness, while the strip could still be funny to anyone with no prior knowledge of the strip. And when you’re doing a gag strip, that is crucial.

Kudos to Bernie for good work, as always.

I think I’ll pass out for a little while now.

(Also, you’ll notice the strip is tagged for “poop,” and clicking on it will show you there are a total of four strips that are also tagged for poop. The act of tagging for poop, itself, makes me laugh)

Well I just got back from PhilCon, and boy is my everything tired. I mean fuck. It wasn’t as hardcore as UberCon, and nowhere near as hardcore as the legend of Dragon*Con. PhilCon was a science-fiction literature convention primarily. And I’m not gonna lie. I don’t pick up those… book… things you people like all that often. I lack the attention span time to pick up anything that isn’t comics or a script. If I even have time for those. I haven’t had a chance to pick up my comics from the shop in over a month now.

But that’s a radical tangent. Getting back to PhilCon. There was plenty of novelty in and of itself that yes, my name is Phil Kahn and I was attending PhilCon. It elicited many double takes and bouts of denial. Not to mention that their programmers listed me as “Phil Khan.” However, at a science-fiction convention I’m not sure I would be right to expect any different.

Highlights? There was one panel about how we keep our surface lives and our fandom lives separate (we do?). Which about halfway in, developed into a support group where attendees started coming forward with their tales of being the downtrodden nerd/geek/dork/otaku. Yarns regaling us with the scorn and disappointment that solely attending a sci-fi con inspires in their parents. Others still wondered aloud to the group what life would have been like if their parents were fans, or maintained the fandoms they once held.

It was really fucking uncomfortable.

So Bryan Prindiville and I went to a different panel about Hollywood adaptations of properties, their successes, their failures and whatnot. It was sufficiently riveting discussion, as this is a topic that I speak upon with frequency, being both a comics nerd and a filmmaker. The best part of the whole panel was when the moderator told us a great anecdote that he overheard while he worked in Hollywood. Essentially, a group of producers, marketers, chairmen, deskmen, ottomen, and every other hybrid of furniture and man got together and very seriously came to this revelation:

“I think we have to stop making movies that suck.”

At the panel’s conclusion, Bryan and I decided to track down Rob Balder and finally give Filk a chance. I’m sure it was a really uncommon moment that we came in (most assuredly the wrong time), where one Filking lady was playing a heartfelt and melancholy ballad upon a mandolin. In response, Bryan and I decided we needed a stiff drink.

Having said drink, and a decent meal, we returned to the Filk Circle and had a seat. They were now on Sea Shanties. And the flow of the evening would continue to “invoke” other topics or other songs, and invocations could not be ignored. Being delightfully drunk, I was able to enjoy the Filking very much. I even got into it at times, supplementing with my own vocal percussions (colloquially referred to as Beat Boxing), and it was fucking grand.

The next day found us waking up ass early at the crack of 9:40AM to attend our Webcomics Panel. The charming Charley Parker was there waiting for Rob, Bryan and I, and we had soon realized that Rich Burlew would not be attending. We had resolved to go on in his stead, carrying the Webcomics Gonfalon proudly. We discussed a lot about how webcomics are made, the collectives trend, the Webcomic Telethon, the definition of “comics” as a medium, and so on and so on. It was a successful panel, overall. The people seemed generally interested in the topic at hand, which spells victory in my book.

At panel’s conclusion, it was on. We were hosting a suite party that night, and preparations were duly underway. I had to procure Cranberry Concentrate and a Stolen Blender, which sent me down to South Street, and my apartment. Despite my roommate’s awareness and approval of the blender being taken, I requested that he at least pretend I was taking it against his will. To which he would not oblige. Kindly son of a bitch.

Also, I grabbed a very special girl and brought her with me back to the convention. We walked around and checked out the art, most of which we agreed was cool but would never be seen on the wall of any place we lived. Also we checked out the vendor’s room, and I spent a good 25 minutes deliberating over whether or not I should buy a Gunblade replica. I’m glad I didn’t, because that’s $55 that’s better spent on family for the holidays. Also, killing people is illegal, so the need for owning such a thing is minimal.

Soon after, the partying was under way. Many parties, many rooms, but I have to say that our party had far and beyond the best drinks and the best atmosphere. That’s because we’re awesome, and therefore everyone else is not. Rob and Mike Pederson where the benevolent hosts and fun-slingers extraordinaire. The evening was, indeed, pretty fucking cool.

This morning milady and I decided to bail imminently. It’s finals week after all and work was to be done. The staffers were very friendly, the programming was solid (for y’know, book people), and the partying was very decent. A splendid “Relaxicon,” as they call ‘em.

And to all you new folks reading this here blog, I say welcome. Stay a while and listen. Likely, you’re souls in search of answers. Additional Diablo Quote. Now, I’m off to recluse myself into final papers and other such doom.