I’m just saying…

(From PvP, by Scott Kurtz)

WARNING! QUASI-RELIGIOUS DEBATE AHEAD!

Ok… ok. Now this strip inspired a very interesting frame of mind for me. Because I agree but also disagree. Or maybe more appropriately, believe but also refute.

We here on the liberal side of the political spectrum generally all support the movement for gay rights. I know I do. Why, just last night I was elated to discover that Same Sex Marriage is now legal in Canada. I’ve been supporting each and every one of my gay friends in everything they do. I’m 100% on the Gay people’s side. You might even say I support “The Gay Agenda,” if you think of it that way.

Now, what Kurtz has been doing has been going on for a long time, but for some reason it didn’t click with me until illustrated it in this manner. Maybe there’s a reason all webcomic drama seems to begin and end with Kurtz, I don’t know.

For a long time, the Anti-gay movement has been using the Bible or any other religious text or figure as a means to support their argument. They scour the bible for any line that either descriptively denounces homosexuality or any other passage that can be misconstrued to support that notion. Particularly by saying that Jesus Condemns homosexuality, or to put it simply… “God Hates Fags.” Essentially, the radical opposition declares that Jesus supports their side, and they begin putting words in Jesus’s mouth and otherwise definitively declaring what Jesus and/or God stand for. They shout “Jesus says this…” and “Jesus hates that…”

And how dare they? That’s fucked up in any book. Because who gave them the authority to say what Jesus represents, much less the right to speak for anyone? How dare they sit there on their high horse and proclaim that…

What? Oh shit. We’re doing it too, aren’t we?

We are. I know I have in the past, and Kurtz has in this strip. We’re using Jesus for our mouthpiece as well. The fact that we stand up and say “Jesus loves Gays,” or “God is totally down with homosexuality…” that doesn’t make us any different from our opposition in the debate. Not even the fact that we do it more quietly, and with better web design. The fact that we may use the idea of Jesus as a means to justify our beliefs and our argument totally reduces us to their level. In any argument, not just the homosexuality debate. Even if we say “Jesus is cool with us using his name as a curse, it’s not that big a deal.”

Because we don’t know. We don’t know what he loves and hates, condones and condemns, etc. We don’t know at all what makes the guy tick. All we can do is speculate. And believe.

It’s fine to believe that Jesus agrees with us. Hell, it’s quite preferable that he’s on our side. We can say that he loves Gays, Lesbians, Bi-folk, Transgenders, and even Straights all the same. We can even say he prefers if that’s what we choose to believe. We can say that all Jesus ever wanted was for every man and woman on this earth to love each other with equality and kindness until the end of time. We can say that Jesus supports whatever we want. It’s our right to say it and our right to believe in it. He’s Jesus, and he loves everyone, even if they don’t believe in him (is the common belief).

But… We can’t use Jesus as a method. We can’t declare what he approves and disapproves of. Not if we want to hold any ground in the argument. Not if we want to succeed. Jesus is not a tool. We can’t do the same thing our opponents do, just because it sounds nicer when we do it.

So, not to get on all about how Kurtz is some sort of blasphemer or something, because he’s not. He’s saying what he believes, and made me think very hard. And for that, he deserves full marks.

In lieu of no snark today (I was randomly called in to cover a co-worker calling in sick), I do have a couple announcements.

First of all, more developments in Otakon plans. I finally got back my confirmation E-Mail from the Artist Alley staff, and I will be having a table. More specific news on that when I receive it. But still, a Biscuit Press table is going to friggin’ rock.

The other bit, is that the next Washington Webcartoonist meetup has been scheduled for all of you who missed the last one. It’s going to take place at The Savory Cafe in Takoma Park MD (My neighborhood, noonch). Address and phone number, Google Map, and Metro Info.

So tomorow, I’m going to talk about Smile, another subscription comic that’s free for WCCAs.

(From Narbonic, by Shaenon K. Garrity)

Well, I’ve finally finished the Narbonic Archives. Not only am I thoroughly convinced what a fucking amazing strip Narbonic is on levels far and beyond human ken, but I’m convinced to subscribe to Modern Tales once the free offer thing is up and done with.

I am reminded of something I wrote before, in The Plate. When I added Radioactive Panda (also very good)…

Radioactive Panda, by Eric Johnson and Steve Wallock. People who read Ctrl+Alt+Del would feel right at home here with this strip. And it’s a unique enough concept. These guys are totally bringing Mad Scientists back in style. I was sent a link to RP by teh Sera, and was hooked immediately. Mad props to this comic. Get it? Mad? Mad Scientist?

Looking back, I shake my head in disappointment. Of course, I wasn’t yet exposed to Narbonic, so I couldn’t have known. I’m just glad that no one read it and said “Dude, what are you? A moron?” Still, that needs to be edited, as does my entry for Narbonic.

But I feel quite odd right now. I’m trying to pinpoint the feeling. I’m trying to look back on what I’ve read and figuring out my overall thoughts. For me now, trying to explain Narbonic is impossible. Because it’s simply beyond my grasp. It floors me, without fail, how nearly every single thing that happens in that strip plays as a part of a much bigger picture. That story elements going on now in 2005 are revealing stuff that happened three years ago. Only to unfold more mysteries it seems. Regardless I am totally floored. It was quite an experience to read it all at once (over a few days) like that.

I sit here dumbfounded. Amazed. Astounded. Astonished. In Awe. Fanboyish I suppose, but I don’t think so. I don’t really see myself quipping quotes from the series, or creating fan art or anything (well… not too often…). But nevertheless, I am so duly impressed that I am just mentally fatigued by the awesome. Or was it the 2,000 some-odd strips? Either or.

I know what this feels like. This feels like the first time I saw Star Wars. I mean really saw it. Seeing it when I was old enough to get it.

Dude. This is Narbonic. This is amazing. Now I see what Burns has been raving about since I started reading him. Now I see what a comedic plot-driven comic was meant to be. This is truly one of the ultimate webcomic experiences. Top 5, easily. I don’t care what kind of drooling fanboy lamer I sound like right now. This comic has earned my readership, my fanittude, and my respect.

Overall, the comic’s hella ginchy.

I’m going to finish the Narbonic Archives. I just hit 200. 300 some odd to go.

Then Digger I guess.

It’s well known that I easily succumb to the word “free.”

(From 8-bit Theatre, by Brian Clevinger)

Reminding me why he’s the king of Sprite Comics, Brian Clevinger shares with us a new technique for illustrating sound in speech. The set of Echo Bubbles accompanying Fighter’s words perfectly shows us that there is an echo behind it. Where traditionally, it might be illustrated with a set of smaller bubbles connected to it, or the words hyphenated (”Echo-echo-cho-o”), Brian decides to have follow-up bubbles that they themselves fade away as the sound would.

So 39 Awesome Points™ for Brian Clevinger for being innovative.

Also, a personal note for the day. I just saw that I’m Just Saying has received 1,000 Unique Visitors for this month. That’s the largest amount that it, or anything else I have ever done has received. So yeah, I feel pretty good. Thanks are probably in order to fellows like Occultatio and T. Campbell for the linkular contributions. Many thanks, amigos.

Well the snarkwell’s been a bit of dry the past couple days. Nothing really new to report on. Personally, I’m still bushed after Silverdocs. That was an awesome time.

I saw the following documentaries, and I recommend each and every one of them whenever any of you get the chance to see them:

Rebel Without Applause, by Aaron and Tamara Barschak. A piece logging the journey dealing with Aaron’s stunts and comedy career. Interesting stuff I wouldn’t've known much about if I hadn’t seen it.

Murderball, by Henry Alex Rubin & Dana Adam Shapiro. Murderball is intriguing to watch. Because not only is it amazing to watch the quadriplegic folks accomplish what they do, but they kick a ton of ass. Seriously, I’d be terrified if I crossed one of them.

The Comedians of Comedy, by Michael Blieden. The tour coverage of The Comedians of Comedy, Brian Posehn, Maria Bamford, Zack Galifianakis and Patton Oswalt. Fucking hilarious.

The Aristocrats, by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette. An unbelievable movie. I couldn’t comprehend how they could spend 86 minutes on one topic. But there you have it. The Aristocrats. I’ll tell you that joke sometime, if you ask me.

In webcomic interest, the Narbonic archives are free for all to view for the WCCAs. I’m excited; I just got past 20% of it. I’ve got a long way to go, but at least the journey will be enjoyable.

And no, I haven’t seen Batman Begins yet. Get off my case, I haven’t had time.

Hey party people. Just a quick note of thanks and appreciation to all my readers, old and new. You guys are awesome. All I humbly request is that you continue to read. And if you ever want to comment, don’t be shy! We can’t have me, Will G, Blue, and sp4nk be the only ones talking. And, as always, suggestions and recommendations are welcome at any time. Just hit that e-mail link there on the sidebar.

Also letting you good folk know that I’m not putting up anything today or tomorrow (probably not tomorrow, so don’t expect anything). Why?

Motherfuckering Silverdocs.

3rd annual documentary-only film festival that’s held in Downtown Silver Spring, MD at the AFI Silver. I’m working concessions the next couple of days (since that’s my… y’know… job), and also abusing my “Free tickets to nearly goddamned everything” privileges. Also there’s big parties. And Richard Dreyfuss is there. I already got to meet and speak to Penelope Spheeris. Which is funny. Because until I met her, I had no idea who she was. I’m such a terrible, terrible film major.

So. If you’re in the Silver Spring/DC area, go see yourself some Silverdocs movies. It’s hot shit.

See you in a few days.

-Phil!

(From Mike’s Stupid Comics, by Mike Laidman)

Yes, Mike. Yes, Hard Feelings.

Of course he always seems to do this doesn’t he? Mike’s got a twinge of tragic hero in him. Most of his problems and conflict stem from his own actions or negligence.

For example, if only he was more assertive in his love life, he’d gotten Elf Girl’s name the first time around, saving everyone a world of trouble.

It was Mike who so callously discarded his old shirt. He’s the only one to blame for the shirt developing sentience and desiring nothing but ultimate revenge.

All right, to be fair, Dave is a dick. He’s pretty goddamned evil, and he’s doing nothing to dissolve the grudge between him and Mike. He brings up the “Diving Board Incident” continuously, but only for his own amusement. He still picked up Mike’s tab. So he’s not a complete dick, but he’s still a dick. And as Rob begins to explain where all the bad blood comes from, he admits there’s stuff Mike won’t tell him. Stuff that’s probably Mike’s fault, and he won’t apologize for. They used to be great friends, but Mike did something one day that completely drove him off. For good. And I tell you, that’s hard to do. And as Rob tells us, Mike threw the first punch. And after Dave had that victory, Mike retaliated with the still untold “Grad Gown Spray Paint Incident.”

Mike also has a mean streak of flipping out on a tantrum. He unleashes a bit of drunken rage on Andrea. Jesus, that’s still some mean stuff there. And even though Jethro’s pretty damned annoying, he didn’t deserve this. And then of course, Mike flips out when Kris tells him he’s working for Dave. It’s understandable why Mike would be offended, but it’s still Kris’s right to work for whomever he sees fit.

And finally, we come to the present. Mike was doing the right thing, this time, defending the Temp Girl’s honor against “Hans Blingman.” And he walked away when he knew he was beat. But see, Mike thinks nothing is wrong, and acts as if it didn’t mean anything. Obviously, it meant a hell of a lot to Blingdude, because he’s got a bruised shoulder and a bruised ego. He won’t let this go. Not for a while. Not by a long shot.

So Mike is a tragic hero. Whether through conscious act or negligence he brings a lot of his personal strife upon himself. He and his loved ones suffer for the things he does. And that’s only basing it on the stuff we’ve seen in the comic. There’s tons of back story that’s been mentioned offhandedly, but still present. What did Mike do during the “Grad Gown Incident” that could make Dave swear bloody revenge? Through Mike’s reckless behavior and efforts to do good, he makes many friends. And many enemies.

Mike’s like Spidey. He may not have the great power, but he certainly has the responsibility. And with an Osbourne like Dave plaguing his existence, he’s in for a world of shit. No doubt, Dave will find out about Hannah the Elf girl through Kris and use her to exploit Mike. And that’s making for a kickass story.

Having said all that, you should be reading this comic. Go catch up on the archives first, there’s a lot of ground to cover.

(EDIT: Woops, her name is Andrea, not Angela)

(From Yirmuhmah!, by D.J. Coffman & Bob McDeavitt.)

Ok, I’m not going to talk about the Llama. No.

There’s a war going on. An intricately woven plot involving the icons of the Fast Food moguls we all know and love. Ronald McDonald is slain. Wendy and Burger King I are plotting to overthrow Burger King II. Shit is going down.

But where are the other icons during this scuffle? Why isn’t the Taco Bell Chihuahua rabidly attacking his enemies? What great coup could Colonel Sanders and his Guerilla Chicken Army be plotting? Will the Carl’s Jr. Star come careening down to earth and everyone will have to join forces in order to stop it, done to an Aerosmith song? Will Johnny Rocket, The Red Robin and Fuddrucker make a surprise attack claim the victory in the name of slightly less fast food? What about the super heroic Whattaguy and Addaboy, defending the rights of the citizens in all this mess? Will the Sonic Empire drown the earth in slushy death? Will the Checkers Regime eat us out of house and planet? Is Jared Fogle the second coming? Is there a surprise in store from Jack-in-the-Box? Will Arby’s slow roast their defiers to their doom? Will Roy Rogers be the hero he was born to be? Will Kenny Rogers write a protest song, capitalizing off the war? Who’s defending the White Castle?

Dear god… I can’t handle the suspense!

Today I decided to update all that Plate and Slate business. So first, the following comics have been moved from have been placed on The Plate, from The Slate or otherwise:

Friendly Hostility, Diesel Sweeties, Road Waffles, Medium Large, Narbonic, Krakow, Spamusement, Joe Loves Crappy Movies, Belphegor, Built For Comfort, You’ll Have That, Penny and Aggie, Panda Xpress!, Sally Forth, Ugly Hill, Quick, Give Me Two Nouns, Starshift Crisis, Midnight Macabre, Platinum Grit, and 24 1/2 Water Street.

Many, many more additions to The Slate. If you’d like to see them, go ahead and explore. As always, if something’s not there that you think should be, send me an E-Mail.